Chosen

This is something Tracie Loux posted on her blog. Tracie is a mother to seven beautiful children, four of which are adopted. Several of her adopted children have down syndrome and countless other medical frailties. Reading about their mission and call to adopt completely blows me away. I was just super touched by this post and she gave me permission to share it, so here ya go:-)


Today I was chatting with a friend about adoption and foster care and by the end of the conversation my heart was so gripped that I just had to share some of our conversation and the thoughts that I have had since:

Chosen (adj)- having been selected as the best.

Our conversation thrust before my eyes the striking similarities between children waiting in foster care hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and then carrying that pain deep in their hearts when they are not, and the families pursuing adoption who are waiting and hoping to be CHOSEN, facing the rejection of NOT being chosen and hoping to hear the words, “You have been chosen,” the next time the phone rings.

Chosen. To have been selected as the best. We have all known to some degree what it is like to be chosen and the sting of not being chosen. Whether it was being chosen to be on the “blue team” in gym class, chosen to read your story aloud to the class, chosen as Home Coming queen, chosen as class president, or the strikingly opposite, not chosen for a part in the school play, not chosen to attend a birthday party that all your friends were attending, not chosen to be the first in line.

Imagine this: Your face is on a website, it may read something like this under your picture: “Tracie (16) is a friendly, organized, outgoing young lady who loves reading, art and music, she would love to join a family who has young children. She says she would love to be a big sister, and help teach other kids how to draw.”  She knows her face is there, and yet her social worker tells her that no one has inquired. Or worse, several families have inquired, a few have even met her, and she has still not been chosen. Each time her heart hurts. The sting of rejection digs deep and she wonders what is wrong with her, why she isn’t good enough, what she could possibly do to have someone want her, CHOOSE her.

Imagine.

And if you are reading this you are quite possible waiting to be CHOSEN too, waiting for a birth mom to find you good enough, fit, or as the word’s very definition indicates, the best. You may be one of the ones who has not been chosen, maybe time and time again, you’ve heard “she CHOSE another family.” Maybe your heart is heavy and you are fighting off feeling as though you have somehow been rejected, that for some reason, you just aren’t good enough.

At the center of the human heart we all long to be loved, wanted, needed. We long to be CHOSEN.
Ephesians tells a powerful story of those who have been chosen. Each one of us.

“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” Eph. 1:4-6

We were created to be loved. Created to be wanted. Created to be chosen.

And when we are not. It hurts.

So tonight if you are praying for that phone call telling you that you have been chosen to be the parents of a child through adoption, I encourage you to also pray for those children who are waiting for families, waiting tonight to hear if they have been chosen.

'Tis The Season

As we approach each holiday season we are so often reminded that "we need to take some time and think of or pray for those less fortunate." Yes. I think it is great to pray for, or "think of" (whatever that means) those who aren't receiving scads of gifts, delicious food, and plenty of loving family time. But is that it?

 After offering up a quick prayer or pondering their plight for a brief moment do we then simply delve into our annual American delicacies and tear into our countless gifts? We always hear that "it's the thought that counts", right? But what if we could do more. We, as Americans, and especially as Christians are really good at talking about the world's problems. We can spend hours in a coffee shop chatting with our friends about Darfur, world hunger, abortion, domestic violence, sexual victimization, and those less fortunate than ourselves. But what if we actually did something about it? What if, instead of asking for a new TV for Christmas, you suggested money be sent to a charity of your choice. Instead of buying someone a Starbucks gift card, maybe I could go online to gospelforasia.org or a similar site and purchase chickens or rabbits for a single mother living in poverty (they will then send the giver a card that they can give to whoever would have gotten the gift so that they know what their gift is doing for someone in a third world country). What if we did?

This is not at all meant to be condemning or accusatory of anyone. We are all guilty of it. This is also not my attempt at getting everyone I know to fore-go all holiday celebrations. It's just that we live in a nation and society that loves to talk about our faith, our divine rights, and to discuss ways of solving the world's problems. But just imagine if we all thought of at least one thing that we were willing to sacrifice for someone else. OK, imagine actually doing it. Making that small sacrifice. Now imagine, for a moment, just how far that could go.

Finally!

Well, it's finally Here: We have completed the crazy process required to become foster and adoptive parents! We had our home inspection on Monday and, in a panic, were rushing around wiping down counters, washing dishes, taking out recycling, emptying the trash, changing the litter box, sweeping the floor and.....the "inspection" took all of twenty minutes. I personally felt rather disappointed that she didn't even check my freshly scrubbed shower. Nevertheless we are finished and our first official day of being licensed will be October 1st :-) We should be able to start inquiring on specific sibling groups within the next two weeks!

Preparing for Children

My good-lookin' handyman building bunk beds for the boys' room.

Covering the brown paint with light green.

The final product!

The girls' room.

All of the bedspreads were used by myself and my siblings growing up, and the beds in the girls' room were made by my Dad back in the early nineties for Beth and me. They work perfectly in this room!

We also painted the front door :-) Home owning is fun!

More Pictures

And he doesn't like small dogs....

They make a very strange duo....

But are so stinkin' cute!

 New Vehicle

We are open to fostering or adopting as many as four children, so we decided we had better trade in my CR-V for an eight passenger vehicle. We ended up buying a 2002 Chevrolet Tahoe and we love it!

 Cheers!

The Close to Our Summer

Throughout the busy summer we have forgotten to update on several things! First of all, the most important is that we welcomed another beautiful niece to the world on July 12th. Her name is Charlotte Jane Anspaugh and she and Bethany are both healthy and doing great!


Welcome Charlie!

 Another (slightly less important thing) is that we purchased an ATV earlier this summer and it's been great having a "toy" to take out in the evenings. We had been going with Sandra and Scott a lot when we visited, so we'd been looking for one for a long time. Finally we found one very reasonably priced, and decided to jump on it!

While Becky starts school on the 23rd, Clayton is set to be done with training on August 17th which is very exciting, as we will then be able to settle into a routine....or so we hope....

Jesus Saves from the American Dream

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Two days before our wedding my beautiful sister (and matron of honor) coordinated a phenomenal bachelorette party in the space above the wine bar. The theme was 1920s speakeasy, and it came complete with classy h'orderves, vodka cranberries, and many fun gifts! We all dressed in flapper dresses, head bands and boas. It was pretty much amazing. I'm not entirely sure why the backstory is necessary, but I just enjoy talking about it - it was a grand time! Anyway, the whole point is that, while opening gifts, I came to a bag from my bridesmaid (and friend since the dark ages) Brittney. There were several items inside, but the one that this particular story is about is a short, quite sturdy dog leash. We all laughed, assuming that it's the typical "whipped" joke and that it was for "me to use for Clay, etc". Brittney then proceeded to explain that it was actually meant for Clayton's use. "He'll need all the help he can get to wrangle you in!" Need I remind you that she's known me since before I could ride a bike? My "rambunctiousness" has not escaped her.

Throughout my life everyone has always known me to be "the crazy one". I am always jumping into things head first and just assuming that somehow, from somewhere, a parachute will open to carry me safely through life. It was, therefore, to no one's surprise that I married a man who provides that parachute. I married someone who not only thinks through every decision thoroughly, but also has the strength to rein me in from time-to-time when my crazy ideas get a few steps (or miles) ahead... Due to our polar opposite personalities, it has become routine for people to assume that any big (crazy) decision we make is solely due to my inherant craziness. What a great feeling it is to know that, for once, I am not alone in my "insanity". Through much prayer and thoughtful discussion, Clayton and I have decided to adopt! Something that a majority of people (especially our generation) thinks we are absolutely crazy for doing. But here's the story:

First of all, Clayton and I knew going into this marriage that we wanted a large family. We didn't necessarily have a number determined, but we assumed it'd be around 5 children - a couple homemade kids, and a few pre-made a little further down the road. In recent months, however, we have both felt very convicted that perhaps the order in which we had planned our family-building was skewed. We began to realize that there are hundreds of thousands of kids out there who need a home and, lo and behold, we have one! Not only that, but we have a home that even has two un-occupied bedrooms! Funny how God works!

We first met Rebekah with Whimspire Child Placement Services in early July to discuss our options and get an explanation of the process. One month later, and we are halfway through the process and expect to be licensed by early September. Unbelievable! It's amazing how God has paved the way for us through this crazy process. Our required foster care core training through the state has only been offered in Gunnison once before, and it miraculously is being offered again on August 19th and 20th which is exactly when we need it to be without slowing down the process. Our CPR certification is finished, we've had our first home visit, and the training, first aid certification, and home inspection are all set to be completed in the next two weeks! Even Rebekah commented on how amazingly fast and smooth the process has been for us (Maybe it has a little something to do with God's hand being in it). We are so unbelievably excited!

Several things I have come to realize through this process is how insanely selfish our lives have been to this point. Everything has been so easy for us financially, with consistent jobs and supportive families, and also with how much freedom we've had. Americans have come to a point of viewing children as a burden. We have been told countless times that "we need to have time to ourselves and travel the world first. Enjoy ourselves before having children." But the problem with this logic is that, when we became Christians our life is no longer our own. We have been called for his purpose, and that is to love and care for those less fortunate than ourselves.

For those of you who enjoy reading (or even those who don't), i'd highly recommend the book by John Piper titled Don't Waste Your Life. In it he tells a story about a man who was in his eighties when the pastor did an alter call at the end of the church service. The old man rose and went weeping to the front of the church where he repeated over and over again, "I've wasted it. I've wasted it." The thought of reaching the end of our lives before realizing that it's not all about us is utterly terrifying to me. We have been blessed to have recognized God's calling as young as we have, and to realize that this life is not ours, but his alone, and that all of the resources he has given us is to be used for his glory. We own a house, therefore we had to figure out a way to use that house for his glory.

We have spoken to countless people, both relatives and near-strangers who try to warn us about adopting through foster care and how "it's going to be so difficult" or "hard on our marriage" (all from people who have never done it. Those who have give complete opposite reviews). Our response to those comments is that, for one, compared to what these kids have been through, nothing about our lives is "hard". Secondly, this is no longer our choice. This is what we have been called to do, and we know that without a doubt. Therefore, all we can do is be incredibly ecstatic about it! We're going to be parents. It doesn't get more exciting than that! Whether we end up with 3 or 30 children, at least we can know that with God's support (along with a lot of family and friends' support), we will indeed survive!

Since we first started the process I have constantly been online watching videos and interviews with adoptive families (many of which have adopted more than ten children) and passing them along to Clayton. There was one family who we have found to be the most similar to us in convictions and beliefs. It made us feel much more confident in our decision and that, crazy or not, we're not in this alone.

To watch their interview, go to http://www.adoptuskids.org/, click on "family stories" in the center of the page and then on the lower right side of the screen you'll see "The Mitchel Family" video.

Our First Six Months....

Wow. The last six months have been absolutely insane, and so much for my promise to update this often! Not only did Clayton get a job with the Sheriff's department (Detention Officer), but we are official home owners! We have also added a new addition to the family (No no...not a human addition, but an adorable puppy named Remington....)

Not only that, but a former member has made a grand return as well!

Boo Radley

We absolutely love our new house and are slowly but surely beginning to settle in. Who knew we had as much stuff as we do though? It's amazing what you accumulate over a combined 48 years! We are both looking forward to being settled and not having to move again for a few years. What a change that will be!

Living Room

Kitchen/Dining

Our giant backyard

Guest Bath

Reading Room

Guest Room

Master Bath

Master Bedroom

Aside from the craziness listed above, we have just been enjoying married life and becoming more involved with New Song Church while spending lots of time with the nieces! We had them overnight one weekend in the spring. It was their first time over night without their parents, so it was an interesting experience to say the least!

(I cannot find the pictures from the girls' stay, so I decided to post Kiahvi and Watson instead:-)

We also took a trip to Estes Park as an early 6month anniversary/surprise gift for Clayton's 25th birthday. We stayed in an adorable cabin right on the river which had a private hot tub on the deck which was AMAZING. Looks like we'll just continue taking short mini-honeymoons to make up for not getting more than a few days back in December! Now that I'm working at Quality Inn I also get significantly discounted rates all around the country, so we could go anywhere for a third of the price! That is exciting!

Our little Cabin in Estes

Our private balcony above the river

Until next time.....Love to you all!

The Beginning of Forever

Hello World! Much has happened in the last several months, so we decided it's about that time to join the blogging world! We are hoping this will be much easier than trying to manage many different facebook and e-mail accounts just trying to keep in touch with everyone we know. We will try to be fairly good about keeping it up-to-date with our lives!

First things first:
As many of you know, Clay and I met in September 2009, were engaged in August 2010, and we were finally married on December 18th and are so excited to be spending the rest of our lives together! Due to all of the stresses and decisions needing to be made through the planning process, we were very relieved to have the day finally arrive and put all of the waiting behind us.

Since the wedding we have remained in Gunnison while Becky tries to stay motivated so she can graduate in December, and Clay works for the school district. We recently moved into a little two-bedroom duplex in town which is the perfect size for our little family of four (us and our two furry friends). Aside from our partying neighbors, we are loving it!

Kiahvi does not always enjoy having such close living quarters with Watson

Although we are not sure where God will be leading us in the next several years, we are enjoying the time spent near Becky's family, and being within hours of Clay's Mom, Scott and Grandma Billie!